Reminder

A few years back, 26 to exact, I was living single working as a bouncer, and avoiding life for a bit. I had just gave up a relationship of 6 years that I shouldn't have. No, This is not about that! But, If you will bare with me I think you may be able to take this little story and apply it to your life in some positive way. This is a life altering instance for me, and I refer to it a lot in my life. I will explain that at the end if you will please read on!

Being a bouncer, I made it a point to get to know all the girls. That was for many reasons, not just to get laid. Anyway, I need to mention that this was in a fairly small town, which is right beside of the small town I was raised in. That being said, you can conclude that most everyone knew each other or of each other. I had my eye on a particular girl one night. Her demeanor was like a little wild child. Who was so uninhibited and almost as free as a person can be, and that was just by observation. I couldn't wait to at least talk to her and see what she was about. I didn't know her, so my first task was to seek out a mutual friend. I did so, and from there the story begins.

OK, the mutual friend, was Pee Wee, That will be important in a few. He told me that her name was Wendy Alderman, she was from a small town about 15 miles away. She was 20, and had been dating a friend of mine(I for the life of me cannot remember his name). I had arranged that we all meet for breakfast after getting off work, and they all agreed! We did so and afterward ended up at my place drinking till we all passed out. The next day me and Wendy talked like we were siblings. She knew more about me than my own family after that day, and I knew her life story too! I learned that she had just had a baby, the babies father was in denial, and her parents had taken her baby because she refused to stop smoking pot! That is the simplified version, but you get the drama gist! Anyway, as time passed we became inseparable, and completely platonic, for fear of complicating a goal we set for her...Get her child back!

A few months later, 6 drug test later, 3 court appearances later, and one judges decision later, she was getting her son back in 3 days! We were happy, she was through the roof happy! I couldn't have been more proud of anyone one. And through it all, she was always that same uninhibited happy wild child that she was the first night I saw her! While I was working, she dropped by and was celebrating! I got her a room, so she could drink and not get into ANY trouble, and assured her I would be off in a couple of ours. I had also told Pee Wee to take care of her. She was not to get into her car driving or not! I knew that her FIAT SPIDER was like her second child, so, I thought it would be out of danger! I about an hour a friend of mine said the police were at the door and wanted me. That was not uncommon, I was a bouncer after all. Anyway, as I approached I saw that I knew him and he had some keys in his hands. He asked if I knew Wendy and of course I said yes, that she was in a motel room beside the club and that I could get her. What was this about. Well the next sentence changed the rest of my life. He caught me as I heard him say “Wendy Died 20 Minutes ago”, and I fell to my knees. I realized at that very moment that “I loved Her”! She was celebrating and Ironically that celebration killed her. Months of changing her life to get her son back, gone in a flash. She was driving and hit a tree head on. Killed instantly.

First I blamed Pee Wee.. I had no reason to, she was a strong woman and that was that. But it did take me years to forgive him. Secondly, I blamed me. I should have taken off and celebrated with her. I was responsible but who knows, I may have drank and been in the car and died too! But, It took me years to forgive myself. I blamed her after years. I couldn't right away because I couldn't blame the one I had fell in love with.

NOW... The reason for me asking you to bare with me to get to this point! I have lived through many instances and problems, as well as celebrated many good things in life since Wendy was a part of mine. But, I cannot count the times I think of her wasting all her time only to loose her life before she got to be with her son again. She loved him but that celebration stop the one thing she desperately wanted. I also think of the time I invested in a friendship and a love, that maybe, if I had expressed that love, she would have been there with me and would have never been there to have wrecked. I even think of the nights we cried in each others arms struggling just trying to find a reason to get to tomorrow, and telling each other that we were each others reason to wake up the next day! The Message here is that life is full of messages. You cannot try to pin point one. Yes, some are more stand-out than others, but, you have to look at life every day every moment and absorb it, and learn to grasp the good in it. Cause if you do not, the one bad thing will erase 10 great things. But if you grasp the good, the bad will only remain in the background, there to be a simple reminder of what NOT to do! If I can say anything to everyone it would be...“Grasp the moments of your life”.

CHAZ, WHO I AM AND WHAT I DO!

I am CHAZ!  Charles Jeffrey Cecil and this is my blog site!  I am better known to most of my readers from #Twitter as VetsFinalHonor or my older friends and family on facebook as Jeff Chaz Cecil I want to thank them all for following and supporting my causes whether physically or just emotionally, it means allot that what little I am able to do it is appreciated in some way, and the causes I advocate for are recognized.  

Some of my writings are #socialissues, and some are #veterans / #HomelessVeteran issues.  Because I am a veteran, and because I have been homeless these are issues that I feel strongest about.  Over the years I have come to know numerous veterans and homeless who No person can begin to know what they are dealing with or how they are dealing with it, unless you are there.  Within the homeless population there are so many personal issues that they deal with besides being homeless.  Issues such as PTSD, Being disabled(Waiting on VA or SS Decisions) Sexual Abuse history, Social Anxieties, and just simple Self Shame!  These are only a few of very many issues that plague the #HomelessSociety and its occupants.  These people are your Brothers,Sister,Moms,Dads,Uncles,Aunts,High School Buddies, or just a stranger you see on the corner.  But what most seem to forget is that these are #People.  Flesh and Blood Human Beings who deserve our respect, and our empathy(to sense other people’s emotions, coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling). I want others to see the problem and try in some way to be a prt of the solution.  I am not asking you to take one or ten into your home and take care of them.  But I am asking you to care.

I got off my point!  This is about me and I got sidetracked.  I am a #USArmyVeteran who served 7 years and 9 months. Where I went and what I did is something you will have to ask if you want to know.  I am waiting on disability to make a final decision.  At age 52 I am unable to do much with a spinal injury.  It is not an injury which left me in a wheelchair or assisting devices.  It is however an injury which keeps me in constant pain and discomfort.  I have fought depression now for about 4 years.  What I do online is about the limit of what my life has come to be.  Everything I have done in my life is just a memory for me to sit and ponder, which I do often.  I have worked my ass off all my life, dedicated to whatever task I was given to the point of exhaustion sometimes, but it is in me to never give in, never give up, and damned sure never quit! I do not get out of the house often and I don't do anything physically demanding because I am unable.   It is killing me inside to do this, to live like this.  I feel so useless as a person, and disappointing to myself that I let something like this get me here.  I fight suicidal thoughts, and I grab hold of life through my constant support of my causes.  So, after all this said, my message which I intended to get out is this; Whatever you read that I write, Whatever I Promote as a cause, or whatever I Tweet or post, #PLEASE remember, I don't get paid for ANY of my blogs in any way, nor do I for my tweets or Facebook posts.  I only get the satisfaction that as I sit here all day and night, maybe someone out there will be impelled to help another person because of what little blog I wrote or a Tweet I posted.  Maybe someone saw a homeless person and bought them dinner because I posted a picture and they remembered it!  I guess what I am saying, is that If you are reading this, I have to think that you have read at least one of my other blogs, and that being said, I hope you will do something good for someone today, tomorrow, or any day because of what I wrote.  I don't have money, and very few resources, but I have the ability t write stuff and #BringAwareness!

May God Bless you and yours!  For all you Veterans and Soldiers, Thank you and may Angels guide you safely every minute of every day!

#HaveAHeart

You do not know me, and I prefer it that way because too many people these days have a tenancy to per-judge or determine who a person is simply by their looks. If one has long hair, tattoos and a leather jacket you look at them as a mean biker, but do not take time to know that he road 4,000 miles last year for charities, or that he took his own money and bought Christmas presents for the kids in the Cancer unit. If you see a person who needs a haircut and a bath, and is standing on the corner with a cup and a sign, you tend to ask yourself how someone could be so lazy as to let themselves get in that shape. But, you do not know that before his wife passed away, and he was so heartbroken he let his life fall apart and lost everything....even his framed case of medals from 9 years of fighting in Vietnam .....even his Medal of Honor and 3 Purple Hearts. Or maybe you looked at the woman walking down the street with 2 young children and a 10 month old, barely clothed, thinking she should be ashamed that she doesn't have cots on her kids and they look to need a meal. But had you asked, she chose to leave an abusive husband who beat them all in a daily drunken rage, and just chose to get out regardless. Her thoughts of survival verses death, was simply a choice she “Had” to make.

OK, back to me. Who am at this point in my life, I don't even know. My life has been so twisted through the years that even a good shrink would be confused. But, I do know that with not a dime in my pocket, and barely a place to lay my head at night, I will forever fight for others and there rights. I do not judge, I do not question, I only offer a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, or a hand to guide them to someone who can help them more that I can. You do not have to drop money out into a cup, or buy someone a gift, or even provide a meal. Yes, that is a good thing! But, you don't have to. You can help them by simply caring enough to listen and help them with their “problem”. I have found that more often than not, it is really better to sometimes just listen and give them a little self-esteem boost, or guide them to some way of allowing them to help themselves. I guess my point is, just help. But be careful not to appear condescending, that will hurt more than help.

This is not a a mind blowing blog or anything like that. I just want you to know (if you have read this far) that you do not have to be rich to help. You don't even need money, just #HaveAHeart, #DoNotJudge #AllLivesMatter.

Below are some helpful links and tips for you to get involved or to pass on to someone who may need assistance!

Tips to help!

• If you know someone who is homeless or needs a way to communicat, give them an old Smart Phone. They can use it at public WiFi spots without activation to text or surf web for places to get help.
• Stop by the homeless shelter near you at lunch. They usually do not give out lunches, so by simply finding out how many are hanging around you can spend less than $20 dollars and buy some dollar burgers and some cheap fruit drinks.
• If you are around someone that you know who is a veteran, ask if they need a ride to the VA hospital anytime, or need to pick up a prescription from the VA. It's just a ride that will only take a little gas and time!

https://www.justgive.org/donations/help-homeless.jsp

http://christianity.about.com/od/faithinaction/qt/homeless.htm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYMUT9zN62k