Reminder

A few years back, 26 to exact, I was living single working as a bouncer, and avoiding life for a bit. I had just gave up a relationship of 6 years that I shouldn't have. No, This is not about that! But, If you will bare with me I think you may be able to take this little story and apply it to your life in some positive way. This is a life altering instance for me, and I refer to it a lot in my life. I will explain that at the end if you will please read on!

Being a bouncer, I made it a point to get to know all the girls. That was for many reasons, not just to get laid. Anyway, I need to mention that this was in a fairly small town, which is right beside of the small town I was raised in. That being said, you can conclude that most everyone knew each other or of each other. I had my eye on a particular girl one night. Her demeanor was like a little wild child. Who was so uninhibited and almost as free as a person can be, and that was just by observation. I couldn't wait to at least talk to her and see what she was about. I didn't know her, so my first task was to seek out a mutual friend. I did so, and from there the story begins.

OK, the mutual friend, was Pee Wee, That will be important in a few. He told me that her name was Wendy Alderman, she was from a small town about 15 miles away. She was 20, and had been dating a friend of mine(I for the life of me cannot remember his name). I had arranged that we all meet for breakfast after getting off work, and they all agreed! We did so and afterward ended up at my place drinking till we all passed out. The next day me and Wendy talked like we were siblings. She knew more about me than my own family after that day, and I knew her life story too! I learned that she had just had a baby, the babies father was in denial, and her parents had taken her baby because she refused to stop smoking pot! That is the simplified version, but you get the drama gist! Anyway, as time passed we became inseparable, and completely platonic, for fear of complicating a goal we set for her...Get her child back!

A few months later, 6 drug test later, 3 court appearances later, and one judges decision later, she was getting her son back in 3 days! We were happy, she was through the roof happy! I couldn't have been more proud of anyone one. And through it all, she was always that same uninhibited happy wild child that she was the first night I saw her! While I was working, she dropped by and was celebrating! I got her a room, so she could drink and not get into ANY trouble, and assured her I would be off in a couple of ours. I had also told Pee Wee to take care of her. She was not to get into her car driving or not! I knew that her FIAT SPIDER was like her second child, so, I thought it would be out of danger! I about an hour a friend of mine said the police were at the door and wanted me. That was not uncommon, I was a bouncer after all. Anyway, as I approached I saw that I knew him and he had some keys in his hands. He asked if I knew Wendy and of course I said yes, that she was in a motel room beside the club and that I could get her. What was this about. Well the next sentence changed the rest of my life. He caught me as I heard him say “Wendy Died 20 Minutes ago”, and I fell to my knees. I realized at that very moment that “I loved Her”! She was celebrating and Ironically that celebration killed her. Months of changing her life to get her son back, gone in a flash. She was driving and hit a tree head on. Killed instantly.

First I blamed Pee Wee.. I had no reason to, she was a strong woman and that was that. But it did take me years to forgive him. Secondly, I blamed me. I should have taken off and celebrated with her. I was responsible but who knows, I may have drank and been in the car and died too! But, It took me years to forgive myself. I blamed her after years. I couldn't right away because I couldn't blame the one I had fell in love with.

NOW... The reason for me asking you to bare with me to get to this point! I have lived through many instances and problems, as well as celebrated many good things in life since Wendy was a part of mine. But, I cannot count the times I think of her wasting all her time only to loose her life before she got to be with her son again. She loved him but that celebration stop the one thing she desperately wanted. I also think of the time I invested in a friendship and a love, that maybe, if I had expressed that love, she would have been there with me and would have never been there to have wrecked. I even think of the nights we cried in each others arms struggling just trying to find a reason to get to tomorrow, and telling each other that we were each others reason to wake up the next day! The Message here is that life is full of messages. You cannot try to pin point one. Yes, some are more stand-out than others, but, you have to look at life every day every moment and absorb it, and learn to grasp the good in it. Cause if you do not, the one bad thing will erase 10 great things. But if you grasp the good, the bad will only remain in the background, there to be a simple reminder of what NOT to do! If I can say anything to everyone it would be...“Grasp the moments of your life”.