Reminder

A few years back, 26 to exact, I was living single working as a bouncer, and avoiding life for a bit. I had just gave up a relationship of 6 years that I shouldn't have. No, This is not about that! But, If you will bare with me I think you may be able to take this little story and apply it to your life in some positive way. This is a life altering instance for me, and I refer to it a lot in my life. I will explain that at the end if you will please read on!

Being a bouncer, I made it a point to get to know all the girls. That was for many reasons, not just to get laid. Anyway, I need to mention that this was in a fairly small town, which is right beside of the small town I was raised in. That being said, you can conclude that most everyone knew each other or of each other. I had my eye on a particular girl one night. Her demeanor was like a little wild child. Who was so uninhibited and almost as free as a person can be, and that was just by observation. I couldn't wait to at least talk to her and see what she was about. I didn't know her, so my first task was to seek out a mutual friend. I did so, and from there the story begins.

OK, the mutual friend, was Pee Wee, That will be important in a few. He told me that her name was Wendy Alderman, she was from a small town about 15 miles away. She was 20, and had been dating a friend of mine(I for the life of me cannot remember his name). I had arranged that we all meet for breakfast after getting off work, and they all agreed! We did so and afterward ended up at my place drinking till we all passed out. The next day me and Wendy talked like we were siblings. She knew more about me than my own family after that day, and I knew her life story too! I learned that she had just had a baby, the babies father was in denial, and her parents had taken her baby because she refused to stop smoking pot! That is the simplified version, but you get the drama gist! Anyway, as time passed we became inseparable, and completely platonic, for fear of complicating a goal we set for her...Get her child back!

A few months later, 6 drug test later, 3 court appearances later, and one judges decision later, she was getting her son back in 3 days! We were happy, she was through the roof happy! I couldn't have been more proud of anyone one. And through it all, she was always that same uninhibited happy wild child that she was the first night I saw her! While I was working, she dropped by and was celebrating! I got her a room, so she could drink and not get into ANY trouble, and assured her I would be off in a couple of ours. I had also told Pee Wee to take care of her. She was not to get into her car driving or not! I knew that her FIAT SPIDER was like her second child, so, I thought it would be out of danger! I about an hour a friend of mine said the police were at the door and wanted me. That was not uncommon, I was a bouncer after all. Anyway, as I approached I saw that I knew him and he had some keys in his hands. He asked if I knew Wendy and of course I said yes, that she was in a motel room beside the club and that I could get her. What was this about. Well the next sentence changed the rest of my life. He caught me as I heard him say “Wendy Died 20 Minutes ago”, and I fell to my knees. I realized at that very moment that “I loved Her”! She was celebrating and Ironically that celebration killed her. Months of changing her life to get her son back, gone in a flash. She was driving and hit a tree head on. Killed instantly.

First I blamed Pee Wee.. I had no reason to, she was a strong woman and that was that. But it did take me years to forgive him. Secondly, I blamed me. I should have taken off and celebrated with her. I was responsible but who knows, I may have drank and been in the car and died too! But, It took me years to forgive myself. I blamed her after years. I couldn't right away because I couldn't blame the one I had fell in love with.

NOW... The reason for me asking you to bare with me to get to this point! I have lived through many instances and problems, as well as celebrated many good things in life since Wendy was a part of mine. But, I cannot count the times I think of her wasting all her time only to loose her life before she got to be with her son again. She loved him but that celebration stop the one thing she desperately wanted. I also think of the time I invested in a friendship and a love, that maybe, if I had expressed that love, she would have been there with me and would have never been there to have wrecked. I even think of the nights we cried in each others arms struggling just trying to find a reason to get to tomorrow, and telling each other that we were each others reason to wake up the next day! The Message here is that life is full of messages. You cannot try to pin point one. Yes, some are more stand-out than others, but, you have to look at life every day every moment and absorb it, and learn to grasp the good in it. Cause if you do not, the one bad thing will erase 10 great things. But if you grasp the good, the bad will only remain in the background, there to be a simple reminder of what NOT to do! If I can say anything to everyone it would be...“Grasp the moments of your life”.

CHAZ, WHO I AM AND WHAT I DO!

I am CHAZ!  Charles Jeffrey Cecil and this is my blog site!  I am better known to most of my readers from #Twitter as VetsFinalHonor or my older friends and family on facebook as Jeff Chaz Cecil I want to thank them all for following and supporting my causes whether physically or just emotionally, it means allot that what little I am able to do it is appreciated in some way, and the causes I advocate for are recognized.  

Some of my writings are #socialissues, and some are #veterans / #HomelessVeteran issues.  Because I am a veteran, and because I have been homeless these are issues that I feel strongest about.  Over the years I have come to know numerous veterans and homeless who No person can begin to know what they are dealing with or how they are dealing with it, unless you are there.  Within the homeless population there are so many personal issues that they deal with besides being homeless.  Issues such as PTSD, Being disabled(Waiting on VA or SS Decisions) Sexual Abuse history, Social Anxieties, and just simple Self Shame!  These are only a few of very many issues that plague the #HomelessSociety and its occupants.  These people are your Brothers,Sister,Moms,Dads,Uncles,Aunts,High School Buddies, or just a stranger you see on the corner.  But what most seem to forget is that these are #People.  Flesh and Blood Human Beings who deserve our respect, and our empathy(to sense other people’s emotions, coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling). I want others to see the problem and try in some way to be a prt of the solution.  I am not asking you to take one or ten into your home and take care of them.  But I am asking you to care.

I got off my point!  This is about me and I got sidetracked.  I am a #USArmyVeteran who served 7 years and 9 months. Where I went and what I did is something you will have to ask if you want to know.  I am waiting on disability to make a final decision.  At age 52 I am unable to do much with a spinal injury.  It is not an injury which left me in a wheelchair or assisting devices.  It is however an injury which keeps me in constant pain and discomfort.  I have fought depression now for about 4 years.  What I do online is about the limit of what my life has come to be.  Everything I have done in my life is just a memory for me to sit and ponder, which I do often.  I have worked my ass off all my life, dedicated to whatever task I was given to the point of exhaustion sometimes, but it is in me to never give in, never give up, and damned sure never quit! I do not get out of the house often and I don't do anything physically demanding because I am unable.   It is killing me inside to do this, to live like this.  I feel so useless as a person, and disappointing to myself that I let something like this get me here.  I fight suicidal thoughts, and I grab hold of life through my constant support of my causes.  So, after all this said, my message which I intended to get out is this; Whatever you read that I write, Whatever I Promote as a cause, or whatever I Tweet or post, #PLEASE remember, I don't get paid for ANY of my blogs in any way, nor do I for my tweets or Facebook posts.  I only get the satisfaction that as I sit here all day and night, maybe someone out there will be impelled to help another person because of what little blog I wrote or a Tweet I posted.  Maybe someone saw a homeless person and bought them dinner because I posted a picture and they remembered it!  I guess what I am saying, is that If you are reading this, I have to think that you have read at least one of my other blogs, and that being said, I hope you will do something good for someone today, tomorrow, or any day because of what I wrote.  I don't have money, and very few resources, but I have the ability t write stuff and #BringAwareness!

May God Bless you and yours!  For all you Veterans and Soldiers, Thank you and may Angels guide you safely every minute of every day!

MAD - INTERESTED?

MAD -Military Alliance Division . MAD is a national alliance of veterans and approved non-veterans joined to aide and assist local, regional and national authorities,armed forces, and emergency assistance organizations. MAD is an all volunteer, non-contractual organization set up to assure that there is a secondary defense should there be a need due to an attack, or national disaster which could use the aide of professional certified personnel for any reason. Our oath will be to aide and assist, defend, and our country against any foreign enemy, terrorist, or natural disaster. We are a secondary line of defense/aide which will only act when requested by the proper authorities.

Our other missions will be to aide Charitable organizations/causes, Veteran Awareness/Assistance and other causes in creating an awareness and need to support.

We will be working closely with all authorities from the local Firefighters/Rescue, Police, and emergency response organizations for whatever needs they may have upon request.

MAD will maintain Arms and follow a strict set of regulations as set forth in our By-Laws. We are not and will never be associated with “ANY” organization which does not promote equality among all, whether it be Race, Creed, Sex, Sexual Preference, Religion etc. Our Oath & Regulations will be formed and guide-lined by the Constitution Of The United States, Bill Of Rights, as well as Local,State,and Federal Laws.

If you are interested in joining please contact Charles “Chaz” Cecil for more information via email at finalhonor2014@gmail.com

This is just starting and we are interested in any assistance/input anyone wishes to participate in. Thank you for your support!

Charles J. Cecil

US VETERAN

SGT. 82^Nd & 101^st Abn. Div.

Please! #AnswerMeThis

Answer me these; Have you ever felt like whatever you were doing in life was a useless battle which you really didn't feel like fighting?  Have you ever woke up and wondered why you didn't die?  Have you got into your car and couldn't deal with facing your family who wait for you at home?  Did you ever wake up from a dream, only to realize that what you woke up to was the nightmare you were dreaming about?  Did you ever look at your child as they sat across from you at the table and felt that you were such a disappointment to them that you couldn't look them in the eye to tell them you loved them?
Well, after be homeless a few times and talking with the homeless around me, I have found that these were the thoughts that preceded the spiraling downfall leading to their homelessness.  Hidden in these "questions" lay a path of disturbing consequences.  Now these were only a few statements which depicted the thoughts and sometimes fears of people who were at sometime productive individuals in society.  Some you may even consider upstanding beyond reproach!  There were even heroes!
Now I am no psychologist or Behavior study major, so I cannot give you clinical answers.  But, if you look into these questions, you can begin to see how or why this started. For instance, waking up feeling like you were in a battle with life, you are more than likely in or headed to a state of depression.  Depression starts and snowballs to withdrawal from others, then inner shame,seclusion, and eventually one runs and hides.  They subconsciously choose to be homeless.  It allows them to feel like they are administering a punishment that they so deserve, thus causing a viscous circle of personal disparagement.
Take a veteran with PTSD, who has a family that he loves and they love him.   He, always being the provider, and guardian of his family, is now incapable of providing these securities a father provides.  He is afraid to go to sleep for fear of who he may harm during a nightmare he know could become reality, all the while he has no control, whether he is awake or asleep.  He has tried the therapy, and the drugs!  His reality is that he is no longer the man, the father, that they knew and although they love him, inside they fear what he could do without even knowing it!  So, his choice for everyones best interest is for him to leave and live alone in a world where at least if he does do something to someone, it won't be someone he loves.  Not only is this veteran a danger to himself or others, but his condition will only get worse without structure and attention.
From this I think you get the picture of where I am going with this.  Homelessness is a "condition" which is a result of either other conditions, or a driving force of overwhelming situations which cause an individual to feel like there are no options and there mental condition at the time leaves them with the thought of self deprivation and self punishment which leaves homelessness the consequence of the situation.  Maybe after reading the first paragraph, you will understand at least how in ones mind the beginnings of how some feel before they take a step to run into homelessness. If you get it, then please share with someone else so they may learn.  If you don't, please leave your questions in the comment section and I will try to answer it or get the answer!  Thank you for reading my blog, May God Bless!

#AllLivesMatter

#AllLivesMatter ! A simple phrase that if we,everyone, take head to this and concentrate on this single phrase, we can change the world. Is it going to happen overnight? NO! When to build a home, you have to dig a hole to start the foundation. Continually doing the same digging in a pattern until a ditch is formed for the foundation. Next is Concrete for the foundation. You have to have re-bar in the concrete to help the concrete hold together and strengthen it. Once those things are done, the foundation will hold what is built on it. The stronger the foundation, the better the home will be and the longer it will last. No, this isn't a class on building a home. But, what you willl see is how this applies to #AllLivesMatter.

If we as a society pick and choose what we each believe in and want to support it is a good thing. There are #BlackLivesMatter , #CopsLivesMatter , #ChildrensLivesMatter . And if we choose one of them then we start dividing ourselves. Once the division starts, that is when you start having opinions and beleifs which start differences. Once differences come into play you are opening up for argument, and eventually that explodes into full blown fighting. Lets put this into prospective as a foundation. If #AllLivesMatter then we need to start that foundation. Taking all the other #LivesMatters and combining them would make a good foundation. Each digging for the soul purpose of making one single foundation with each of the other groups each being the footer and the re-bar. If we come together it works as one solid foundation. Apart, we only have foundations for rooms. Now, I don't know about you, but I have never went to buy a ROOM! I want a HOUSE! Yes, I know we can build a room, but a house will be more appealing, and get more attention. We do need each of the beliefs that our individual cause is important---that is our re-bar. Coming together is the concrete in the footer. Now e have a foundation on which we can launch construction of any type building we want, or in this case, any cause, being #AllLivesMatter.

So, that explained, it is easier to understand that if we focus on #AllLivesMatter, and we do it together in all instances, we can and will get a lot more accomplished. If I as a Caucasian run up to a black ma and say #Whitelives matter! I am inviting confrontation. If I approach the same black man and say #AllLivesMatter, it takes the confrontation off of the table. He cannot argue that. So when any race, creed religion, or occupation gets harmed we have a foundation to stand on no matter what the situation and we have 5 times more people strengthening that cause. It is that simple. We will as a society have to put our own individual beliefs aside for the greater good, but isn't that the goal!.... Please think about it and please pass this on to someone, anyone and let's all make sure that #AllLivesMatter!