Dealing With Your Past?

First let me say, “I am not a therapist”! This is just something that helps me and I hope it may help you or someone you know cope with whatever situation you may be having trouble getting through. I will keep this short and to the point. I know I have struggled with conventional methods due to my hard headed independence and have searched within myself for relief from inner struggles and so called “Demons”. Hopefully this will help!

What would you say? Pick a moment in time you are having trouble with and usually there is another associated with that time or moment. As they say, “Misery loves company”. It is true and memories control our lives more than we would like to admit (it doesn't take a shrink to tell us this). I know that as I think back, every thing that is significant to me more often than not involves another person, whether it's a loved one, friend, co-worker, etc.. What would you say to them if you could go back and change that moment? Would you say anything? Would it make a difference if you did? Why didn't you say what you would like to say now? Reflecting on a moment can never change the outcome, and can never right a wrong, or bring back what may have been lost, but, by asking yourself the question and exploring the options, you may just see that the results would have been the same. They may have been even worse after closer scrutiny. Point is, revisiting the moment and facing the situation with an inquiring mind and letting your mind explore it rather than just pondering over it is healthy. It keeps your mind from getting depressed, at least it does mine, and allows it to react analytically  instead. For me, this allows me to get through thinking about it and getting past it. For instance, I think about about a buddy getting shot beside of me. What I would have said to him is that “I am so sorry that it happened, and I would have taken his place if I could”! We were long time friends and had I not persisted that we switch sides, he may not have gotten shot. After going over the trajectory and other data, as well as running through our own conversation a thousand times in my mind, I came to the conclusions that no matter which side we were on, he would have been fatally shot, the only difference would have been that the other position would have put me in the line of a fatal shot also. That does cause another issue for me to deal with, but I am doing just that. It took a lot of hours talking this trough with myself, writing it down and answering my own questions, but in the end, it was all worth it and I worked through it!

This may or may not help. But please try it. Just ask yourself “What would you say”? Then sit down with a pen and paper and answer it with as many answers as you can come up with. Work it through till you can think about it without it being a problem to you. Let it just be a memory! There is nothing wrong with memories, that's what your life is made of, the good and bad. Just do not let the bad erase the good, and may the good fill your dreams!

Please, If you have questions or comments, I welcome and appreciate any/all! Thank you and please pass this on to others!

Ghost?

Do you believe in ghost? Well, whether you do or not they exist! And I think after reading this you will agree. Maybe not in the conventional “Casper” kinda way but they do!

I used to sleep in a bed that had a slated ceiling that was real close to my head as I slept, and the shadows that were cast through the windows at night on a full moon scared the heck out of me! It looked like a giant black ghost! I would would scream, mom would come turn on the light and comfort me, explain it and sooth me back to sleep. Imagination had a big part of the process, but, even what is in your imagination is real. We'll get into that a little later though.

A woman is raped by a man. I will spare the details because the act deserves no glorification of any kind. But This horrific act leaves a scar upon the memory of the victim of this crime, which bears its ugly image way to often. This image in many cases becomes a ghost to the victim. An image which appears to be very real, very vivid and all to often psychologically damaging, again, not Casper, but a ghost.

A 70 year old man has lived a full life watching his only son pass away, and only to loose loose his wife of 52 years to cancer. He listened to the doctors a few years back and quit smocking,drinking, and even stopped eating his favorite apple pie! But all of this only meant that now he was living a long healthy life alone. The only time he isn't alone is when he lays down at night and sits down the empty rocks glass which smelled of fine single malt. It would have allowed him to drift into a deep enough sleep that he could see her, touch her, smell her. So he could hear her whisper softly that she was waiting. Well, could could do all of this, but he could never take that drink, or drift off into that deep sleep, because of the voice he heard. It was her talking to him. She was the reason he stopped everything, and she was the reason he couldn't start back. The glass of single malt tempted him, but his love, her voice, and the ghost of her, kept him from doing anything he wasn't supposed to do.

Some would argue the point that these could be called demons, deceases, simple dreams or nightmares, or even ones conscience. They are ghost. Whether in general or personal. They are by definition GHOST! So I dare argue, as my dear grandmother used to say.. “My dear boy,Ghost do exist, and like anything else in life, you just can't let them scare you”!